


Tests and Trials

by rileywrites



Series: Clay and Violets [6]
Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Body Horror, Established Relationship, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Mission Fic, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:42:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26385853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rileywrites/pseuds/rileywrites
Summary: Some jobs go wrong.Some jobs go very wrong.Some jobs......(Nile doesn't allow herself to think about what she's going to do if they've finally found the one way to kill an immortal. She can't bear to think it, can't imagine what the next six thousand years would be like without him.)
Relationships: Booker | Sebastien le Livre/Nile Freeman
Series: Clay and Violets [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1901956
Comments: 26
Kudos: 236





	Tests and Trials

**Author's Note:**

> Tagging for this thing was an adventure.

July:

Some jobs go wrong.

Some jobs go very wrong.

Some jobs...

"Booker, I swear to God I'm going to kill you," Nile mutters under her breath.

She takes down the handful of men who exit the door Booker entered. There's already been shots fired. What are a few more casualties?

Besides, Neo-Nazis barely count as humans. Nile kicks aside the armed militia-men, sneering at their play-acting of war.

"Why did it have to be fucking Nazis?"

When Nile finally gets into the building, Booker is already down. Nile is too focused on securing the storage room to take stock of his injuries.

"How the hell did you get in here?" A gruff voice yells. He doesn't get to finish the slur he tries to hurl in her direction.

Two more shots and the room is clear. Nile finds a pipe to thread through the door handles to the next room and shoves a chair under the knob of the door to the outside. She turns around to finally look at Booker.

"Booker, you asshole, I told you not to-"

Booker is decapitated. His head is lying next to him in a pool of blood on the concrete.

Her body responds before her brain does, emptying her stomach of the meager breakfast she managed before the mission.

"No, no, this isn't happening." Nile steels herself and moves Booker's head to his body, trying to make sure everything lines up. "Absolutely fucking not. No, there's no fucking way."

Not that she can tell with all the blood and viscera. Not that she can see clearly through her tears, her hands shaking enough to jostle his whole body.

"You can't fucking do this to me, Booker. Don't you fucking dare stay dead."

(Nile doesn't allow herself to think about what she's going to do if they've finally found the one way to kill an immortal. She can't bear to think it, can't imagine what the next six thousand years would be like without him.)

"You'd better wake up, Booker, I swear to God."

Five years in, and she'll never get used to the sound of flesh knitting together and bone joining bone.

"Come on, Bastien. You have to heal. Please, just… you can't leave me like this. You promised."

It takes ten minutes for Booker to fuse back together. It takes five more minutes for him to breathe again.

When Booker sucks in that first breath, Nile loses it. She sobs over him, clutching at his face. He weakly takes her hand.

"You almost left me," she says between sobs. "How fucking dare you?"

He's disoriented, still mostly out of it even as he blinks up at her.

"I can't believe you made me deal with this," Nile says, running her fingers over his neck to check the wound. "I was so worried, fuck."

By the time they get Booker up and moving, Nile has moved from fear and grief into rage. Once they're clear of the compound, Nile pulls away from Booker and gestures to the SUV.

"Get in the fucking car."

"Nile - " He looks like he wants to placate her. Nile doesn't have the energy for that.

"Booker, if you don't get your ass in the fucking car, I will knock you back out and handle it myself."

Blood-soaked and fuming, Nile shoves Booker into the passenger seat and slams the door closed after him.

"Ma sirène, I - "

"Don't even try with that right now."

"Nile, I'm sorry - "

"I said don't."

Nile spends the next eight miles running over her issues in her head. Booker knows better than to follow unverified intel. Booker knows better than to just run into an unknown environment.

Booker is also the poster child for "should have known better."

"We said we were going to wait for the others, Booker. We said that two people weren't going to be enough for this op, Booker. We said that it would be too fucking dangerous to attempt ourselves, Booker."

"I know. I'm sorry," Booker says quietly. "I shouldn't have gone in without backup."

"You shouldn't have gone in at all. Did you lose your fucking mind?!"

He did. It was on the floor next to his torso.

Nile finds a pull-off in the woods, parks the SUV, and bails out to retch. Booker climbs out of the car and goes to her side, hands fluttering uselessly around her like it will help.

When her stomach is void of what little it had left, Nile stands up and pulls away.

"You made me a promise. When we got married, you said you wouldn't go where I couldn't follow. You said you'd avoid every death you could, and always come back from the ones you couldn't," she reminds him, loud and angry and hurt. "You fucking promised, Booker!"

Booker hasn't looked this distraught since Merrick. Serves him right.

"Nile, I am so sorry that I worried you. It wasn't fair of me to - "

"You were decapitated! When I got inside, your head was beside you. Booker, you promised!" Nile screams it, sobs finally breaking loose.

Booker goes to her, and she falls into his arms crying.

"I'm okay. I'm okay. We're okay. I'm sorry, shh, I'm sorry." Booker holds her tight. "I'm sorry, Nile, I didn't realize. Fuck, Nile, my love, I'm so sorry. We're okay. I can't apologize enough."

"I held your head in my hands to put it back in place," Nile chokes out. "I didn't know if it was going to work this time."

"I'm sorry." He has nothing better to say, nothing to offer. "I'm sorry."

"You were dead for almost fifteen minutes," Nile says, shoving at him. "Fifteen minutes that I had to barricade that room and pray!"

Booker lets her shove, braces himself against her anguish.

"I'm calling Andy," Nile finally says, resolved. "I'm calling Andy, and I'm calling the others, and you're fucking grounded. You're not taking another job for months, years if I have anything to say about it. You'll run data with Copley until I'm fifty."

"Nile - "

"Don't Nile me, Booker." Nile pulls away so she can stare at him properly, anger winning over pain. "We have a chain of command for a reason. We make plans for a reason. We work well as a team for a reason, and running in half-cocked to get your head cut off by white supremacists goes against everything we do."

As his wife, she's angry at him for dying. As his fellow soldier, she's angry at him for being an idiot.

"I'm sorry."

"Good. Be prepared to tell the rest of the team that when they read you the Riot Act. Get in the goddamn car. We have to get back to the motel. We can't fly like this."

…

Nile's anger simmers by the time they get to the motel. The shitty room has a shitty bathroom, but at least the shower is half-way decent.

"Go shower, Book."

Booker frowns. "Nile-"

"Please. I need a minute. Just... please."

Booker finally goes. Nile takes a deep breath and fumbles a burner out of their bag.

"Hey, kid, what's up?" Andy asks, sleep-groggy and warm and just what Nile needed.

"Booker was decapitated," she gasps out, sinking to the floor between the bed and the AC unit. "He went in alone, and I found him."

"Oh, sweetheart, no." Andy is very awake now. "This is your first, isn't it?"

"I didn't know if it would work, Andy," Nile says between gasps. "I thought-"

"Hey, no, shh. You're okay. Booker is okay. If the real Nazis couldn't kill him, the knock-off Nazis won't manage it." Andy chuckles, but it's forced. "Hell, I've been decapitated more times than years you've been alive."

"Not fucking funny, boss." Nile scrubs at her eyes. "I'm so mad at him right now."

"I know, Nile. You've got to feel that anger. When you stop getting mad, you start getting bitter and complacent."

Nile wants to call her mom. It's the first time she's had the conscious idea in over a year.

"I want my mom," Nile mumbles. "I want to call my mom."

"I know. Believe me, I know, kid. I'm sorry."

"Andy, I was so scared," Nile whispers, fragile and hurt. "We're supposed to have millennia."

"You will. I promise you, you will." Something rustles on the end of the line, and Nile just waits. "These things suck. Big wounds take time, especially spinal column fuckery or complete removal of a body part. But he'll be okay in the long run. He's still your Sébastien."

Nile takes a few shaky breaths.

"Nile, honey, where is Booker right now?"

"I made him go shower first. I needed to call you. I needed a minute."

"Boundaries are important. You feeling better?"

"Yeah." Surprisingly, it isn't a lie. "Thank you."

"Good. Go shower, Nile. You'll feel better."

"Okay. I'll call you in the morning to debrief officially, and you can take a turn yelling at him."

…

  
"Nile." Booker's eyes go wide, obviously not expecting her to join him in the shower.

"My first death was my throat, you know." Nile steps under the water and rinses off what the water-bottle rush job couldn't.

"I know." Booker rubs at his throat. "I felt it."

Nile hands Booker a washcloth, and he dutifully helps wash her back and shoulders.

"I never want to see you like that again, Sébastien. Never."

"You know I can't promise that, Nile."

_"Try."_

Booker turns her around and rests his forehead on hers. "I'll try. I promise to try."

Nile wraps her arms around his neck. "That's all I ask."

**Author's Note:**

> Find my personal blog at [reactingcaptain](https://reactingcaptain.tumblr.com/) and my writing-exclusive blog at [rileywrites](https://rileywrites.tumblr.com/).


End file.
